Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Standing and Responsible: Upright between Heaven and Earth

There is areal need to be aware of our responsibilities in our lives, to not blame others and to project our weaknesses away from our fragile ego.

We live in a comfort that can sometimes make us forget the realities of the world.

Most people do some sport, for their health if not for something else, and some have a personal research, a questioning view on their lives.

Personal practice is not required to be a martial one, it is a personal choice.

Life is, for us in general, peaceful with no real dangers.

But today, in our world in turmoil, it is important to talk about violence: it is there, at the corner of our street and not wanting to talk about it does not make it disappear.

If we accept the need to protect ourselves, if we feel a certain insecurity, we have to educate ourselves on the subject, we must understand this banal violence of everyday life.

It is not to the liking of everyone to learn martial arts, but it is the duty of one who feels insecure to know about defending oneself, for ourselves and our loved ones.

It is not responsible to be aware of this discomfort, of this consuming anxiety without doing anything about it. 

The idea is not to become a MMA warrior or a paranoiac urbanite as there are too many of those already, but to learn the simple rules of urban violence.

We have, for the most part (unless suffering from severe handicaps) tools and means to defend ourselves, what we lack is the information that allows us to not be paralyzed in a situation of confrontation.

The technique of the ostrich, which consists in looking only at what does not bother us, does not work against violence and trouble in general.

It is essential to confront what can be resolved and accept what can not be.

Personal research in a comple practice provides the necessary information  to survive in urban violence.

If we do not have a personal practice, it is possible to easily find information and lessons that answer to this question.

The first approach is psychological:

What do I know about urban predators, violence and the resolution of conflicts?

Knowing the approach strategy of potential attackers, it is possible for me to avoid most conflicts and confrontations.

Verbal de-escalation methods and preparing my answers to possible aggressions help to avoid much of the worries.

A better observation of my environment, a better attention to my world, enables us to remain attentive to what happens: 100% violence victims admit they felt something wasn't right before the incident.

To react efficiently, you must have thought about what might happen, consider the possible strategy in several scenarios of aggression or even discuss it with victims.

No reaction is faster than a prepared one and it is not at the heart of the conflict situation that it is possible to think.

The second issue is physical:

How much can I count on my body in a stressful situation?

The understanding of the sensation of adrenaline, the overall preparation of my body for proper functioning are enough to live well and to defend myself just in case.

Regular training of my body (in the context of a health practice) may occasionally take a more combative aspect, just for the sake ofexperience (a little rowdy with partners, practicing push - pull in a  bit more competitive fashion... ).

The third issue is emotional:

Do I know my anxiety level and am I working on my fear in general?

We too often live in a state of anxiety accepted as normal, everyday, for no real reason.

Our mind works on a projection model of failure: we do ask our boss a raise for fear of a negative response (otherwise we would), we do not talking to the person who seduces us for fear of rejection (although it could work) and we avoid what is risky for fear of failure (rare ly thinking of being successful).

Thus, our vision of violence is a projection of possible failure for us, a succession of morbid speculation that leaves us no room for right choices.

Look how you do not give yourself permission to defend yourself while you defend your mother, father, lover or child, without thinking. You only see defeat and the danger for yourself.

It is time to accept to defend yourself, to refuse fear: you have the possibility to never feel like a victim again.

This requires education and taking responsibility of what can happen to you.

Strengthening your mind, in a body that you "handle" better, your emotions are more stable: whether you are confronted with violence or not, you better live your life, and your relations to others.

Again, this endeavor is ours: no one will do the job for us.

Having the chance to identify a problem before it is too late, why not try to solve this question, why not make sure to live without fear?

Nevertheless, it is possible to become aware of the work that has to be done, to know that we live in an anxiety of everyday violence, but to do nothing out of laziness, weakness or resignation.

In this case, no judgment is necessary, however it is not good taste to whine when things go wrong ...